As I reflect upon this experience through the wisdom of A Course in Miracles, I see there are three openings that allowed me to break free of the ego’s hold. As I write, I am presently witnessing a perfect metaphor as my two beagles have startled me almost out of my seat with their squealing advances to catch a squirrel. Only inches in front of them he escaped to our lilac bush where he will no doubt captivate their attention and energy for the rest of the day. Isn’t this just like the ego-mind?! Lillie and Mazzie are within its power, and they don’t even realize it! This was me on the first round of our walk. “The ego is also in your mind because you have accepted it there. Its evaluation of you, however, is the exact opposite of the Holy Spirit’s, because the ego does not love you. It is unaware of what you are and wholly mistrustful of everything it perceives because its own perceptions are so shifting. The ego is therefore capable of suspiciousness at its best and viciousness at worst. That is its range. It cannot exceed it because of its uncertainty. And it can never go beyond it because it can never be certain.”
OrEd.Tx.9.40 The First Opening: Recognize that you have accepted the ego into your mind. It took the rain and the need to begin again for me to recognize the hold the ego had over me. It’s easy to get caught up in the ego’s messaging: “I should be able to figure this out. If I were just good enough, I could fix this.” This seems to be the viciousness to which the passage refers. It is a direct attack upon oneself which leads easily to discouragement and even depression if we can’t figure it out. Or it may be sneakier and direct its attack upon someone else, “You/They should be able to figure it out.” This is where suspiciousness comes in and we blame others for problems we perceive to be outside of ourselves. This also can lead to discouragement because we perceive ourselves to be powerless and thus victims to circumstances beyond our control. Having my own recent health issues, I can see how I’ve easily fallen into both ego stances. First, I believe I should be able to figure it out. And when I can’t, I become angry with the medical community because they can’t figure it out! Is your ego also telling you there is something you should know or fix or accomplish? This leads us to the Second Opening. “You cannot abide in peace unless you accept the Atonement, because the Atonement is the way to peace.”
Or.Ed.Tx.9.39 The Second Opening:
Forgive yourself for your perceived shortcomings. When I began my walk again, I quickly became alerted to the reality that I had accepted the ego into my mind. Next, I needed to offer myself forgiveness for not being able to live up to the ego’s demands. I needed to forgive myself for not being able to fix what I thought I should be able to fix. I didn’t realize this until I heard Love Itself speak. Love was reminding me I am worthy of love even when I can’t live up to the ego’s unrealistic demands. It’s only in forgiving ourselves that we can remember who we really are; at one with Love Itself. This also frees us to extend forgiveness, love, and acceptance to others. None of us can live up to the ego’s demands. The sooner we recognize the ego’s efforts to convince us that we need to earn our worth, the sooner we remember our innate worth and the grandeur that we share with Love Itself. “Whenever you question your value, say: God Himself is incomplete without me.”
Or.Ed.Tx.9.45 “Yet your grandeur is not delusional, because you did not make it. You have made grandiosity and are afraid of it because it is a form of attack, but your grandeur is of God, Who created it out of His Love. From your grandeur you can only bless because your grandeur is your abundance.”
Or.Ed.Tx.9.52 This leads to the third opening that frees us of the ego’s grip. The Third Opening:
Accept your grandeur. I’ve been most struck by Love’s message: “This life I have loved you with is simply here for you to experience.
As you remember, you are ever joined with Me,
then can you experience the bliss of knowing,
there is nothing else. ” When we remember that we are simply an extension of pure love and everything else is an illusion of the ego-mind, then are we free to savor this life we have been loved with. For me, it helps to remember that my purpose is to wake up from this dream created by the ego. I’ve come into this body to have the experience of love in me, through me, and around me. Yet, this body is not the full reality of me. It sure feels real. And the ego’s messaging does a great job of perpetuating the dream. But I love it when I can break free of the messaging and realize I’m here to experience and savor the love within the dream. The dream is not my home or my truth. I am so much more than the circumstances of this world of form. The three openings on the second half of my walk brought me into the Holy Instant. With the ego silenced, I felt the presence of pure love and I felt myself at one with it. No longer captive by the ego’s messaging, I entered a realm of pure peace. It was as though I had briefly walked out of the dream and into the bliss of pure love, of heaven. Experiences like that one leave me wanting more. My ego-mind picked up its ranting again not too long after I arrived home. But when I pause to consider what I most want in this life, I always go back to this: I want to be with Love Itself. I want to be only the love that I am. And I want to linger in this space where I remember this life is a dream I have been loved with. I will try to wear it loosely knowing there is nothing but this…only Love. Has your ego-mind held you captive recently?
Where is it trying to convince you that you need to earn your worth?
Where can you release self-judgment and accept forgiveness for yourself?
Are you willing and ready to accept your grandeur ever One with Love Itself? Love is waiting ever patiently for your return! In love and peace,
Janine Photos by: Delphine Beausoleil, and Jonah Foss on Unsplash. | 
