May Healing Come

I thought nothing of it that night I went to bed. I set my alarm clock for 7am, as always, trusting I would be awakened to some nice, soothing music the next morning. You might imagine my disappointment when, instead, I was awakened to the count of how many diagnosed CoVid cases are now in Ohio. Perhaps this has happened to you as well? I shut that alarm off quicker than lightning and tried to block it out and start over.

The second day, I awoke from a blissful sleep by the news of confirmed deaths in Ohio. “Well now, that is just depressing and no way to start the day,” I whispered to myself as I crawled out of bed. I made a mental note to change the station. After all, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me!

You see, I learned about 2 years ago that starting my day with the news was literally making me sick. Actually, I was starting my day and going to bed with news.  It finally dawned on me that I truly felt nauseous and depressed after every news report. That year I developed a serious case of acid reflux, lost about 15 pounds,  and ended up needing surgery to prevent a return of Cancer that rocked my world in my early 20’s.

It was actually that first round with Cancer that taught me the most about the power of my mind to either strengthen my immunity and keep me healthy or to allow sickness to prevail through a weakened immunity. I’m an avid reader, especially when it comes to figuring out the mind and body connections. And, well, especially when my life is on the line! I read everything I could get my hands on and quickly learned that the body frequently has Cancer cells popping up in random places. Usually, our immune system is strong enough to fight it off and thus we never even know about the awesome interchange of white blood cells working stealthily to cleanse the body of those cells who basically have just forgotten who they are and gone rouge.

The body truly is a fascinating mechanism of health and power when it is free to do what it was meant to do. 

So what was it that compromised my own immunity in those younger years? It was a lost love….a relationship that didn’t work out (well honestly, my first true love) and my own inability to let myself acknowledge and grieve the deep sadness within me. You see I had made the decision to end the relationship only days before my best friend was to be wed. Who has time for grief when there’s a wedding going on anyway?

I stuffed it all, feeling guilty and unworthy of grief because it was my decision to break up in the first place. 

It wasn’t until I was in graduate school in counseling that the reality of all that stored up grief was brought to my attention. I shared the story of that lost love in an intimate group counseling session, all the while holding my hand over the very place where the Cancerous tumor the size of a peach had formed in my body. I didn’t see the connection. But another classmate did and suggested I journal about it.

Wow! This is how I learned that grief and sadness stay in the body until you acknowledge it and allow it to pass through. And, how this all affects our immunity. Years had passed, I was happily married, and the sadness of that lost relationship overcame me like it had been the day before. I wept. I sobbed. I let it all out, all the while marveling at how powerful this emotion felt despite thinking I had happily moved on.

There is something so incredibly healing and nurturing about allowing yourself to acknowledge all of your emotions. 

You see, our body’s natural response to a wound of any type is to cleanse it and let whatever is toxic within to be released. You see, we have opposing muscle groups within our body. If you tune into your body you will find rather quickly that your muscles can be either in a state of ease and release or they may be pushing against one another. Whenever you notice tension within your body, you can note there is internal resistance….muscles pushing against one another. For example, if I’m really needing to cry or let myself be sad, but I tell myself that’s not okay, I usually get a headache. My body is trying to release the sadness but my blocking message turns on the opposing muscles and holds back the tears.

This is hard on the immune system, as you might imagine. 

If you simply practice the “Soaking Back Into Your Natural State” meditation on my website, you’ll quickly get a sense of the difference between a body that is tense and fighting within itself (dampening it’s immune response) and a body that is flowing in balance with itself…no internal resistance. The more often you practice returning to your Natural State, the more deeply you allow your body to experience full flow, balance, strong immunity, and harmony.

The second most nurturing benefit of honoring our emotions comes when we can greet ourselves with love and compassion. 

We get to give ourselves the nurturing we most need. And more so, we have the opportunity to open ourselves to accepting the deep love that , our deepest Source, God, has for us. When it dawned on me that I was making myself sick with my unhealthy habits, I realized I had a choice.

I saw that I could dwell in fear and anxiety or
I could turn to Love Itself and claim my right to peace and happiness. 

I began journaling to Abba. I wrote about all the ways I was judging myself. And I forgave myself for all my shortcomings. I unloaded all my sadness, and lifted it to God as a child would let down to a loving parent. I intentionally brought it all to Love Itself so I could create an opening to let it all shift.

I essentially brought my pain to  so it could be transformed. 

I also committed to sitting in meditation for at least 20 minutes every day with an open willingness to hear what  would have me hear and to absorb the healing  would bring. You see, taking the time to just breathe….to let the mind settle….to listen, patiently in the silence….to let the internal blocks (resistance) within the mind and body let go (this may bring some tears)….eventually brings you to a clearing….and to the most beautiful experience of love and peace.

This, you will soon discover, is a blissful home you have forgotten. 

In psychotherapy, we learn techniques to get in touch with the pain that still lives within the body, and then we bring that pain to an opening of Love and compassion where it can be transformed and shifted….some therapists call this memory reconsolidation.  There is ample science and research behind this powerful tool and the power of meditation to heal the whole body and brain. As I’m not a researcher or a scientist, I’ll leave that for these experts to explain. You could start by looking up drdansielgel.com.  Remember-to-breathe.org is also a wonderful resource for meditation tools and the science behind meditation and simply breathing!

In this time of uncertainty, let’s take control of what we can control. Let’s acknowledge our feelings and let them move through us. Let’s bring them to  where we’ll free ourselves of the burden of internal stress and allow ourselves to absorb a healing Love that is often completely out of our awareness.

 is here, right now, with us and for us and always loving us beyond our limited ability to comprehend. 

This message of love came from  in one of my early moments of bringing my sadness to Love